Thursday, October 1, 2015

Book Club - Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline

I've read many parenting books and this is one book that has made the greatest impact on me as a parent. I used to think my sons had a problem with the frequent meltdowns. Well, they do. Their sensitive traits often create problems for me as their mother. But this book made me looked at myself. I realised I was highly stressed during their first five years. It was physical taxing to care for them for at least for the first three years. I had problems with my own self control. I snapped easily, probably due to the lack of sleep and fatigue. I had no energy left to discipline them and to look at each misbehavior as a teaching moment. When I can't compose myself to look at their whining objectively, their whining gets worse. It's a vicious cycle. It would not be wrong to say half of their meltdowns could be prevented if I had the energy and the composure to help them through. But I'm only human, I could possibly look at the first meltdown as a teachable moment, the 2nd of the day as another and just how many can one bear when the child treated you as their sandbag source of comfort. Anyway, things did get better. At 6 years old, they have learnt to have more self control and the meltdowns are almost gone. They are still learning to cope with stress from school. They still get anxiety meltdowns but we manage better now.

This is a great book. It's not only a book about parenting. Discipline starts with looking at yourself, your behaviour before your child's behaviour.  


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